(Springfield, OH) To demonstrate they were all healthy and not being preyed upon, pets in Springfield, OH invited Donald Trump to dinner. The grisly aftermath of the joint feline-canine eat-and-greet, with Donald Trump as the keynote entree, caused a more subdued gag reflex among town citizens than his assertion that human immigrants were eating their beloved pets. The immigrant pets, among the largest crowd of pets ever, were equally appalled by Trump’s disregard for culinary decorum.
Meanwhile, the Trump campaign continues to do damage control a week after their Pontiff stated that “Run, Spot, run” is four sentences. The difficulty of defending their Wharton School graduate for abusing math and English in a single sentence, overwhelmed even his most zealously determined MAGA advisors. At a press conference, Kellyanne Conway put a spin on Trump’s statement saying, “President Trump’s memory retention is so perfect that he easily and immediately recalled four sentences from his College Literature book. How can you not be impressed by that?” Trump reinforced the story by adding, “I did get momentarily confused for two hours last Tuesday night and thought I was taking a cognitive test.”
Dick and Jane have announced plans to file a lawsuit against Trump for using their three-word, single sentence without permission. Sally demurred when asked to comment. Spot and Puff growled and hissed, respectively.
Why I call them Richards :D
Ha!