new maga poster child in nc

village idiot found

As village idiots go, William Jacob Parsons would be better off if he had remained missing. According to local law enforcement officials, Parson’s took a handgun and rifle to a local FEMA recovery center near Lake Lure, NC after hearing the stream of misinformation MAGA has been feeding western NC residents about hurricane Helene recovery efforts. Parsons was arrested on charges of being an idiot with an expired license and going armed to the terror of the public.

Billy was subsequently named North Carolina’s newest MAGA poster child. “Alls it took wuz fer me to skeer a few of ‘em gubment officials,” drawled Parsons during his award ceremony held at Mar-a-Lago. Soon thereafter, the Trump MAGA Cirque de Sombre began to publicly distance itself from him while Trump privately promised he would receive a pardon in late January. Parsons took the NC MAGA poster child honor away from his predecessor, Edgar Maddison Welch, who infamously drove 4.5 hours from his home in NC to Washington to shoot up the Comet Ping Pong restaurant over the Pizzagate scandal.

Unfortunately, North Carolina has a long line of successors to become court fools in Trump’s MAGAdom.

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