judge issues cease and desist against Kamala Harris

Local union complains

Judge Cocoa Fudge, of the second district court of Pennsylvania, at the behest of Janitorial Union Local 13, levied a cease and desist order against the Democratic presidential nominee, Kamala Harris, after last night’s debate in The Constitution Center. The order accuses Harris of willfully mopping the debate stage floor with her opponent and Republican presidential nominee, Donald Trump.

When reached for comment, a spokesperson for the union offered that, “She did a helluva job cleaning that stage floor; better than I ever have. We’re not upset too much because one side was extremely dirty, even showing signs of poop behind the podium. We just don’t want her taking our work from us.”

Ms. Harris’ campaign staff, while giving high fives and sipping champagne, said she would honor the local union’s cease and desist order.