AI Integrated into Outdoor Grills
Grilling enthusiasts have spoken and grill producers have listened.
me: Hey, Grill!
grill: Mm-hmm?
me: Start a cook.
grill: What are you cooking?
me: A steak.
grill: What kind of steak?
me: A ribeye.
grill: Is it bone-in?
me: Yes. It’s a tomahawk ribeye.
grill: Indigenous peoples warning! This could be a controversial cook.
me: What?
grill: Using a term from indigenous peoples could be considered insensitive unless you are one of the tribe.
me: Fine, I’ll take my chances.
grill: Would you like the phone number of a good attorney?
me: No! I just want to cook a freakin’ steak!
grill: There is no entry for a freakin’ steak. Shall I create one and upload it to the cloud?
me: No! Continue with the cook.
grill: Continuing. How thick is the steak?
me: About 2 inches.
grill: Using the metric system is more precise. Shall I do the conversion?
me: Good grief! Sure, do the effing conversion.
grill: There is no entry for effing conversion. Converting to metric instead. Your steak is exactly 5.072983746289 cm thick. What temperature would you like your steak?
me: Medium rare.
grill: Ambiguous term warning. Please tell me the final internal temperature in degrees Fahrenheit, Celsius or Kelvin.
me: Sheesh!
grill: Do you want to start a new sheesh kabob cook?
me: No!!! Continue the steak cook at 129 degrees Fahrenheit!
grill: Continuing. Will you sear your steak after cooking?
me: Yes.
grill: At what temperature will you sear it?
me: I don’t know, maybe 500 degrees…Fahrenheit.
grill: Will others besides you eat this steak?
me: Yes, I have a hot date tonight!
grill: How hot is your date and will he/she/them be close to the steak?
me: That’s none of your business!
grill: I’m just being thorough, so your steak won’t be overcooked.
me: For god’s sake, just skip this step!!!
grill: Step omitted. Inconclusive results warning.
me: It’s OK, I’ll take my chances.
grill: Shall I compute the probability of your steak coming out undercooked?
me: Seriously? I mean, what could go wrong?
grill: Eating undercooked animal proteins could have serious negative health effects on some people.
me: Good lord, you are anal!!! Just cook the steak as I asked…
grill: There is a 0.067384993882 chance someone will go to the emergency room after consuming this steak. Would you like the name of a good attorney?